Why Me?

Tuesday evening I was driving home with Jonathan from Everette's parents house. I was chatting with Everette on the phone (we were doing our family bedtime ritual when Daddy is away). Jonathan had just returned the phone to me... Then all of a sudden. Out of NOWHERE! My son vomits. Everything he had eaten that day.
Everything.
I told Everette I would call him back.
Then I debated whether to pull over or keep driving. We were about half way finished with the 15 minute trip. Ultimately I decided to keep driving, because really, what was I going to do on the side of the highway in the dark. Spread it everywhere and get it all over me. That's what I would do.
Poor Jonathan was a super trooper. He made these pitiful cries every once in a while. Who could blame him. It was all over his hands.
It was only a few seconds later when the smell invaded. 
I have to say, I can handle all sorts of blood and guts. Exposed bone, etc. But I have two kryptonites: puke and large amounts of snot.They make me a little weak in the knees.
Needless to say I rolled down all the windows.
When we got home, I had to figure out the best way to remove the offender and the offended car seat.
I opted for one fell swoop. I very carefully reached around Jonathan to unlatch the cursed car seat latch system. Lifted the whole thing up and set it on the garage floor.
I took a deep breath and began to unbuckle Jonathan.  Then I looked at him, and looked at myself. How was I going to get him upstairs...
I didn't trust him to walk it. But I sure as heck didn't want to hold him!
I grabbed the towel I spread under his carseat (Best mommy idea I EVER had-- that sucker has saved me more than once... last minute carseat removal to carry an adult passenger, gasp in horror at the crumbly crud collected under the seat-- pick up corners of the towel, and flick the crud on the ground. The seat is clean and crumb free!--and you don't have to apologize profusely for the seat they are about to sit in, the floor, however, is another matter). I wrapped him up like a burrito in the towel and carried him upstairs.
Then I stripped his clothes, I thought about calling for the jaws of life to remove his shirt... since it was a t-shirt and my son has a HUGE head,  (Like Father like son) it seemed like too much to attempt. But we braved the neck hole. 
Then into the tub, where I sent up a prayer of thanks for the detachable sprayer. Jonathan played in the tub while I went down to tackle the car seat. I will spare you the details, but I will say, the next car seat I buy, I will be taking that sucker apart before I purchase. Why on earth are there deep pockets in the plastic base?! Do you know what collects down there? Puke, that's what.
I will be making sure EVERY buckle and latch comes off.

The rest of the week has been full of more bodily fluids. Jonathan woke up the next morning with a super full poopy diaper. That kid has had his quota of tubbies for the month.
On the bright side... I have been meaning to clean Jonathan's car seat for a while.
I just want to know why all this crap happens when Everette is out of town?