Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Scandalous Photos

My recent blog posts have been such epic adventures, I haven't had time to share the little things that have happened in our family.  So the following is a post of randomness.

1. If any of you are interested at seeing more pictures from 80's prom. click here!

2. I had a nude photo shoot today. Well semi-nude. Nude for me.  There was a backdrop, and lights, complete with background music and body paint. Everette's excited. So is my doctor.... 
I had mole mapping done today... yeah baby. Two hours of standing in my unmentionables while a stranger snapped close-ups of my skin.  I really wasn't prepared at all for this.  When I walked in the nurse asked me if I had brought a two piece bathing suit...
uhhh... no.... I was glad I had clean non-holy underwear, and I had my good bra on.  The lady kept asking if it was ok to mark all over my body with the surgical pens. Since it is going to be a while until the proofs are ready,  I made a few replica's of the photo's myself....
brace yourselves...
Please ignore my freaky arm hair. I don't know what happened, but I promise it doesn't normally look like that.

 Sexy legs! Oh baby.

3.  This is a hedge apple
My niece is five (crap-on-a-stick!).

She is incredibly smart and articulate, so is her older brother. Neither one of them hardly ever mispronounce a word. They come from a very verbose family. My brother, talks a lot (I know, hard to think we are even related) and my sister-in-law is one of the best ennuciaters I know. She is the only persion I know who pronounces the "d-wh" in sandwich.  She teaches kindergarten.
Anyway, my niece Mary brought me this hedge apple, and as she handed it to me she said,
"Here, Aunt Meg, I brought you a head chuckle."

4. This is Jonathan in his halloween costume. He was an Indian. He was cute.

5. My son broke 2 "indistructable" nalgene sippy cups. I wrote the company, following is a copy of the letter I sent...
"To Whom It May Concern:

I recently purchased two Grip 'N' Gulp Nalgene bottles, blue and green. 
I was excited to find these "durable" sippy cups, as in the past I have 
been quite happy with Nalgene Products I have owned. 
A week or so ago, my two-year-old dropped the green one (not even threw) 
from a shopping cart only to have the bottom bust open. Knowing Nalgene 
bottles can withstand "being run over by a car" (or so rumor has it), I 
figured this one had a flaw or it was some sort of freak accident.  I 
put it on my desk as a reminder to contact your customer service dept. 
However just this morning my son dropped his other cup (again, not 
threw) from the mere three feet he stands off of the floor and it busted 
open all over our wood floors.

So now, I am wondering what is going on here. Does my son have some sort 
of super human strength? Are the Grip 'N' Gulps not as durable as other 
Nalgene bottles? Or was this truly some sort of freak coincidence?

Aside from the "tiny" problem of not being able to hold liquid anymore, 
I do love these cups. I love the leak proof lids, the size, and the odor 
proof containers.  I am sad to see them go. Do I have any options?


Megan Mills"

They sent me two new ones. 

6. Yesterday, I went to the new Aldi's on the West Side.  Over all it was a positive experience, until Jonathan dropped his sippy cup and it rolled ALL THE WAY under the display shelves. The shelves were like chef's carts (wire shelves on wheels, with metal cross bars).  I was tempted to just leave it there and walk hurriedly away, but alas, it was the a fore mentioned recently replaced Nalgene "grip 'n' gulp". So I did what any good mother would do... I got down on my hands and knees and tried  to reach it. Too far back. So I looked around and got down on my belly (thanking  God this was the brand new Aldi's). Snaked my hand over the metal bars to reach it. Still too far back.   I looked around me again, this time people were staring, I know they were all wondering the same  thing, "Is she gonna do it?"
I did. I pressed my cheek to the floor, slid my arm under the bars, and letting go of that last shred of dignity, I rolled on my side to swipe the cup toward me. Victory. Then I thought, it could be worse, I could be scrubbing poop off of me in a public bathroom.. Oh wait.   then I thought well, at least no one is taking naked pictures of me...

7. This is my gramma.

She is 84. She has buried her husband and her oldest son. She recently lost 40 lbs. And two weekends ago she climbed up a ladder into a hay wagon and sat on a pile of hay while the wagon jostled along behind a tractor for an hour (this is called a hayride for all you city folk).

She then stood up can climbed out of the wagon herself. She is my hero.

8. Here are some more pictures from the hay ride...

The lovely and talented... Bethany Johnson (Or Jonesson as I like to call her-I'm cool like that).

Quite possibly the worst picture of Jonathan evah!!! I plan on keeping it for his graduation photo-though I am guessing I might get some more like this when he reaches 13.

Jonathan loved riding the tractor!!!

This is my mom's pocket full of straw. She is always doing weird things like that. I'm going to be just like her.

9. And finally, I need your help. I have these storage bins in my living room. They currently house all of Jonathan's toys.

I have them labeled with the kinds of toys in the bins. Right now, they are labeled with stick on labels, but they are not sticking.

I would like to label them differently so that the labels will stay on, but can change as the contents of the bins change (you know-like from toys and trains to leftover moldy pizza, video games, and dirty underwear).
Any ideas?

****I have turned off comments on this post. Because of the title I have been getting spam. Sorry!


bethany said...

you are my favorite.

bethany said...

hey, what about chalk markers?

Megan said...

chalk markers... sounds interesting, although I do not know these chalk markers of which you speak. 'splain please.

bethany said...

think "dry erase" but like paint.

also, just for kicks, I asked Mary about the hedge apple. she said, "that's a head jackle. it's just a thing. it's green. you put it on the table. head jack.. headjam..." then it just trailed off. :)

Anonymous said...

glue on clear plastic sleeves, that is what you need: slide in the changeable cards as your storage needs evolve: perfect.

HI LARIOUS!!!! I especially loved the nude photos and the best ever picture of Jonathan (and the joyous Everette) Nursery pictures?

Extreme said...
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