Saturday, October 31, 2009

Consolation Prize

In all my life, I have never been more happy to be someone's consolation prize.
Admittedly, most people don't really ever want to get or want to BE a consolation prize. And there have been times in my life where that has definitely been the case.  But not last night. Allow me to explain.

This weekend was my brother's fall break. He and his family have been planning for MONTHS to go camping in Brown County this weekend. Michelle (his wife) scoured the map of available campsites and carefully chose the best spot. Their kids have been talking about it for weeks. It was a perfect opportunity to get away and spend some time outdoors and avoid the Halloween parties that they don't participate in. We were all excited for them.
Wednesday evening Michelle went to the store and bought a bunch of fun camping food for the trip, then came home and checked the weather.
Thunderstorms and wind forecasted for Friday and Saturday. Not wanting to tell their story, the long and short of it is they decided not to go camping afterall. There was major heartbreak for all parties concerned.
We were all disappointed for them.
So then they began to plan other fun activities to fill their weekend with and help them to forget about what they had planned.
At about 4:30 PM on Friday, Everette and I invited them to come over and eat pizza and hang out. So all five of them braved the rain and headed over.
We had the best time EVER!!
Elijah brought his Legos and he and Brian and Uncle Everette had a great time building things.
Michelle and I perused cookie cook books and discussed friends having babies, obgyns and cookie exchanges--you know typical woman chitchat.  After dinner uncle Everette decided it was a good time to change the fish water, despite my reservations it turned into a series of hilarious events. Elijah siphoned the fish water, delish! Then when it was time to refill the tank the tube malfunctioned and began to spray water all over the living room, unnoticed, until Mary noticed and started yelling, "help! help!"
Jonathan pushed Emily around in his car and was a perfect gentleman (well mostly).
 After the fish water was cleaned up, Uncle  Everette decided it was bath time, so Emily and Jonathan jumped in the big tub in our room.

The jets + a little bubble bath =3 feet of foam=fun for everyone=lots of bubbles on the floor.

Brian took his guitar up and provided bath  music.

In fact, there were so many bubbles, they had to be transferred to another tub to wash and debubbled.
The older kids, not to  be left out, jumped in afterward and played together.

Michelle, in what might have been a moment of weakness she hopefully didn't come to regret, decided to put ALL the kids down in various bedrooms, so we could continue hanging out.

We dressed Mary and Elijah in matching t-shirts, because we couldn't help ourselves and they nestled down in our king-sized bed.

This is what the looked like when we came in to get them up. Later we found out that they used the blankets and the pillows to make a nest. (p.s. these kids were not faking it for the camera.. they were OUT! We had the lights on and the camera flash and they did not stir.)
Laura dropped by after the kids were in bed.
We caught up on episodes of The Office, then moved onto hilarious YouTube clips of Brian Regan(see below)

They stayed until almost 11:30 PM.
We the best time with them we'd had in a long time.
Brian, Michelle, Elijah, Mary, and Emily we are so sorry you didn't get to go on your great camping trip. But we sure are glad we could be your consolation prize!!!

A Halloween Horror Story

What do you do when you have like four good blog posts swimming around in your head, and you can't decide which one to post.
Easy.. You have a morning like mine and it trumps everything else. You just have to wait for the rest of them.

After a pleasant evening yesterday and a quiet night (i.e.-Jonathan slept all night), Jonathan actually even slept in. He woke up around 9 AM.  Which means I woke up around 9:05. Everette was already gone.. to dig holes in the church parking lot. So I was all set to have a pleasant morning alone with my baby. I was even, niavely thinking I might make it to my first very last Farmer's Market. Not sure what I was thinking..
I stumbled out of bed to get Jonathan, thankfully I remembered to grab my glasses, because I was going to need command of my every ability as soon as I walked into that room.

The first thing that greeted me, besides Jonathan smiling face was an unusually strong odor. The kind that would make a teenage boy pass out (that's bad... teenage boys thrive on bad odors). I debated turning around and just pretending I never heard or saw anything. Then I wondered if you could get paramedics to change diapers if you call 911. But it was too late, I had been spotted, there was no turning back.
As I entered the room the scent only grew stronger. (the following paragraphs are not for those with vivid imaginations or weak stomachs).
I have to confess, I have changed some pretty smelly diapers before, but this one was by far the worst smelling diaper I have ever smelled in my life. It was not the smell of a healthy bowel movment, we'll just say. I was seriously regretting not eating before I went in. Do you ever have  these moments--I had them a lot when I was pregnant- when you wake up hungry, so hungry you are almost nauseaus, and then you encounter a strong smell only to make things worse. Plus after this experience I might not be eating for days... I am telling you the odor was so strong it burned my nostrils.

I pulled Jonathan out of bed and laid him on the changing table. I unzipped his footie pajamas... and  what I saw made me step back and regroup. I needed reinforcecments. This is when I would usually call Everette, but he was gone, and I was flying solo. But still I needed a plan. I thought through my options. The best option in times like these is to take the baby straight to the bath tub. Which was sad because he had just had a very prolonged and pleasant bath last night, but that's another story. But there were other issues... as..uh...the mess wasn't contained. Again those items, in my opinion are best dealt with straight in the washing machine.  But here was the first hiccup. I had clothes in the washer. 
So I  left Jonathan where he was, and headed to the bathroom to turn on the bathwater and switch the laundry over. Yes--I left Jonathan on the changing table. Call the authorities, except I am pretty sure even they wouldn't have entered that room. If I would have had a biohazzard suit I would have worn it.  
I returned to remove the diaper (I should have gotten gloves). Let's just say that the dipaer was not only full, it was fully saturated.  And it wasn't urine. Are you people getting the picture!?!  It is in moments like these when I think moms that do cloth diapers deserve some sort of metal for valor, or should be checked into the nearest psychiatric hospital, or both.

Then, with arms fully extended (I need some serious upper body strength training) I carried Jonathan still in his pj's to the tub. And here is the conversation in my head...
"I should have taken his pj's off before I did this."
"why?!? It would just spread the poop everywhere"
"Yeah, but they are going to get all wet when I put him down in the tub."
"Seriously?! Are we even having this conversation!?! Getting wet are the least of those Pj's problems."

I dropped Jonathan in the tub, removed the stanky jammies, and ran into another hiccup. 
Jonathan hates the shower sprayer and screams like a girl in a bad horror movie everytime it's near him, but if I fill the tub then the poop flakes will be floating around in the water, and well, that's just gross.
Solution: I let the tub fill up washed the poop flakes off, turned off the water, drained the tub and started over.
While the tub was filling again I went to "assess the bed". Let me at this moment mention that from the very beginning when trying to assess the odor, I thought it smelled like "more than poop".  Taking the sheets off the bed, I discovered the "more than poop". There was some throw-up in there too. 
So now I am replaying the events of last night wondering if he is sick or ate something that upset his stomach or ate too much, blah blah blah. 
Jonathan was and is acting completely normal. Mostly happy with a moderate amount of whining thrown in to keep it real.
 So we'll have to stay tuned to rule out the sick factor. 

For now, I am trying to get that terrible smell out of that bedroom. I have removed the offending diaper, and rotten sheets--oh yeah it soaked all the way to the mattress pad. Wiped down the mattress and the entire crib, but that room still smells putrid. I am considering painting it with Killz. But for now if your kids like haunted houses and horror movies send them over tonight and I will let them do the laundry and take the trash out!

Friday, October 30, 2009

A positive review

I know all of you are dying for camping stories, and I promise they will come. Seriously, the will. Before Jonathan graduates high school I promise there will be camping stories.

But first a restaurant review.
For those local lafayette(ians?)(ers?) who love Mexican food, can I please recommend the New Little Mexico. Not to be confused with Little Mexico II.

I think they are owned by the same people, the menu seems very much the same. But the atmosphere....
It is in the old Lone Star on US52. I went there last night with my brother and his family. Honestly I was expecting wobbly cafe tables draped with a mexican blanket and topped with plexi-glass. Sombreros and Mexican dresses plastered on the walls.

Like these only after they had been attacked with a bedazzler
 But no... The whole place was covered with these beautiful wood carved painted murals. It was a feast for the eyes. We played "I spy" all night. I looked and looked online for something to give you a taste of what it was like in there, but I couldn't find anything comparable.  My brother talked to one of the managers/owners about the walls and this artist from Mexico came to do the walls and the only thing he even drew were the birds and the fruit. The rest he freehanded.
It was seriously incredible.
If you already love the food you won't be disappointed.
Plus... they have a party room!
So you just have to go and see for yourself.

Monday, October 26, 2009

While You're waiting...

While you are waiting on the edge of your seats for tales from the wilderness, I thought I would share a few pictures of Jonathan, because....

because... with a face like this who needs any other reason.
Jonathan has become quite the ham, these days...

Dancing on tables....


I think he is going to take his show on the road... It will be short though, his repertoire consists of: ABC's, Jesus Loves Me, Have Patience, and things get kinda shaky from there.

Sitting on the window ledge, is not nearly as fun as standing on it!

Stay tuned for more exciting news!

My milk smells like campfire

Thanks to all of you who gently stroked my ego. I feel loved, I feel important, I feel pretty.... oh so pretty.. and witty.... and bright!
Everette, Jonathan, Grant (everette's brother) and I went camping at Mounds State Park. Sadly, I don't have time right now to regale you with exciting tales of the wilderness (as experienced from a heated pop-up camper), but rest assured they and pictures will be coming soon. But after breakfast this morning I had to tell you what we had been up to.
But this leads me to confess a deep dark secret. Sometimes, at my house, when no one is looking, I drink milk right from the carton. I  know... I should be arrested.  But anyway. As I lifted the carton to my lips, I took a breath, and my milk carton smelled like campfire, reminding me  of the wonderful weekend we had, that I am not telling you about, because I  can't , because I don't have time, because I have a mountain of laundry and suitcases to unpack, and a suitcase to repack because Everette is leaving tomorrow and a halloween costume to gather because Everette is going to a work party while he is away. Do you think airport security will mind if I put a hatchet in my husbands carry on?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Body Wars

Recently someone left me a comment posing a theory as to why it had been so long between posts. Her theory was preposterous, if I was pregnant, I would be doing nothing but sitting around eating grapes and blogging. I would be posting ten times a day.
But there are two reasons for my lack of recent blogposts.
1. You people think it is so easy to skip on over here and read my verbal vomit (yes-I just said vomit).Then go about your day. Prepare yourselves... I am about to reveal my deepest darkest hidden secret: I am insecure. I am one of those crazy people that spend hours worrying about what people are thinking. I can't continue writing these lame posts without your comments. I am like that annoying cat that climbs up on your bed in the morning and sits on your face until you pet it. I need my ego stroked. It isn't easy coming up with this material, and it is even uneasier (yes I know I made that word up, I do that sometimes) posting it on the world wide web (do people even say that anymore?). It's like nominating yourself for prom queen.  I didn't even go to prom (geesh I am just pulling all my skeletons out). I am very chicken.
I mean, sure, my mom says my posts are funny, but she's my mom. It's her job. Just like she told me I was pretty in middle school. She already lied once. (If you saw my pictures from middle school you wouldn't think that was such a harsh statement- I am just going to say "sheepdog hair cut"). She also told me that the very first pair of glasses I picked out looked great. She doesn't have a very good track record. Oh and while we're at it... in college when I was trying to find myself a good man, I noticed that the only picture she had of me in public viewing was of me in my Mother Superior habit from the Sound of Music. See-- my mother is trying to sabotage me! So in short.. it's all up to you people, if you want to read more of this random crap you have to leave comments, and make me feel all good about myself. I can't afford therapy, so I am finding myself worth in this blog (that's ok right?).

2. the other reason for postlessness can best be explained this way...
When I was younger I went to Disney World.  At Epcot center there was a ride called Body Wars.

It was kind of like Star Trek meets the Magic School Bus. We board this ship and fly into someone's body to help the body fight  off a splinter invader. It talked about the way the body works and how white blood cells fight infection and what not. If you would like to experience it... watch this...
No really, watch it.
Anyway... We have been fighting off sickness around here. Jonathan got sick and topped it with an ear infection. As soon as I spotted the first runny nose I began to pump myself full of vitamins and shooting salt water up my nose. I have been teetering on the edge of sickness. Everette currently is sick in bed. He spent all of Friday in bed with a fever. Jonathan and I are out of town for a wedding. So I left poor Everette sweating in bed, with not even a can of chicken noodle soup in the house. Poor guy had to make is own.

So that is what we have been doing. Body Wars, fighting off alien invaders in our bodies. I am not sure who is winning.