Saturday, April 3, 2010

If Robin Hood ate Little John and Friar Tuck AND was Drunk

Last Friday we went to a hockey game in Indianapolis. We being, Everette, my dad, my nephew, and of course me (thus making it "we" not "they"). It was the last of the tickets in a bunch Everette got for me for Christmas.
We had a great time. But this curious scene unfolded in the seats in front of us.
There was this guy (let's call him Sasquatch). He was in two rows in front of us. He was a Big guy. And "big" is a relative term. And it is relative to... me.  He had wild big hair, and a wild big beard. Everything about this guy was big.
Anyway.. in an effort to make money, as the seats in the Pepsi coliseum continue to empty, the Indiana Ice people decided that selling beer wasn't enough. So they now sell cocktails.
And this guy had one empty one at his feet and a full one in his hand (and they were large cocktails). I am guessing this wasn't the sum total of alcohol in his stomach because.... seriously this was a big dude. And this dude was already talking loud.
Let me also say, that I don't care that people drink. I love people who drink. I drink. But I am very uncomfortable around people who are drunk.  Even people I know and love. Drunk people are unpredictable. They make me very uneasy. And having an unconventional college experience, I haven't been around that many people who are drunk.
So this guy was seriously distracting me. He was randomly high-fiving people who walked by. I was anxious and having heart palpitations. Not to mention my 7-year-old nephew was sitting next to me.
At one point these two "event girls" came over and started talking to him, trying to get him to participate in a trivia game. Thankfully he had enough sense to decline.
He did however, loudly, petition a guy a few rows over to play the trivia game in his place. He also cheered him on belligerently,  when the guy actually played the trivia game. (Which incidentally, I would have totally kicked butt at). 
Later in the game they came out in the crowd to throw T-shirts.
One t-shirt was thrown to our left near the front of our section. Whoever it was thrown to, missed and it fell to the stair case below. A young boy  (maybe 4) and his mother jumped up to try to snag it. But apparently the guy who dropped (we will call him the Grinch) from upstairs beat them to it, and refused to give it to the boy. So the boy and his mother returned dejectedly to their seats.

Sasquatch was a bleary-eyed witness to the whole ordeal. And began to bellow at the injustice.
He started shouting  "Give the t-shirts to the kids!" "Hey man! let the kids have the shirts!"
"hey A**hole! Give the shirt to the kid"
The Grinch did what every other normal person does when they hear a drunk person shouting. Avoid eye-contact and pretend not to hear him.
Sasquatch would not let it go. He got up out of his seat and walked over to the Grinch.
At this moment there could have been an all out brawl on the ice and I wouldn't have noticed. I was fixed on the drama between Sasquatch and the Grinch.
I couldn't hear what they were saying, but eventually Sasquatch got up and left, without the shirt.
Sasquatch left the seating area all together for a while.
He returned... with a beer and a t-shirt. He made his way down to the little kid and his family.
Sasquatch bought the kid a t-shirt. From where I was sitting I could see the kids face. On it an expression of sheer joy... peppered with a heavy dose of fear.

There was apparently a catch.
As an expression of gratitude, Sasquatch requested a fist bump.  The little boys eyes widened in terror.
I could physically see his wheels turning. "How badly do I want this t-shirt? Can I get my parents to buy it?  What will this guy do if I refuse? Will he eat me?"
With some cajoling from his older brother, the boy eventually bumped.
I myself was torn between my own uneasiness, and this overt act of kindness.

It seems Robin Hood was incognito last Friday. I would hate to see Maid Marian.