In an effort to take the contents of my blog away from poop, I am trying to talk about my mom more. In hopes that those two topics of conversation will not ever meet.
They say writing is like therapy.
Trust me.. if you have ever met my mom, then you know I need lots of therapy. If you haven't met my mom, and you think I am exaggerating or just being mean, just hop on over here, or here and it should clear things up.
Anyway, back to my mom being hip... hold on let's wait a minute for my mom to pick herself up off the floor because she can't believe I just said that.... in writing no less.
Relax mom, I'm not talking fashion-hip. You might dress pretty well now, but your crimes against fashion are too long and too cruel to ever be erased. The statute of limitations on vacuum cleaner haircuts, and puff painted and bedazzled sweatshirts has not run out.
I am talking about peanut butter. Nowadays, everybody is buying All Natural Peanut butter. It is totally hip to remove all of those additives and go back to the pure peanuts and peanut oil.
It is totally cool to refrigerate your peanut butter now.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I was eating Smuckers all Natural Peanut Butter in 1985.
I can still hear my mother say in complete disdain, while reading the ingredients in other peanut butter, "why would you ever need to put anything in peanut butter besides peanuts... and maybe a little salt?"
Except in 1985 it wasn't cool to eat all natural peanut butter, choosy mom's chose JIF. JIF-that whipped, smooth, nutty, delicious peanut "spread".
I had to endure much ridicule from my friends (although in hindsight maybe it was the bejeweled puff painted sweatshirt I was wearing).
How I secretly longed for sweet creamy delicious JIF. I remember my cousin taking one look at our peanut butter and seeing the inch-and-a half layer of oil on top.. said, "uhhh, I think there is something wrong with your peanut butter." As he tilted the jar over the sink to pour it out, we all cried out "noooooo". "You have to stir it!!!"
I am pretty sure that incident sealed the deal for him. He already thought we were church -going freaks, but the oily peanut butter, now that was just plain crazy!
When I was out on my own, forging my way, being rebellious, bucking all the rules my parents laid out for me, Smuckers Peanut Butter was the first thing to go (and just for my own clarity, is it called independence when you live in an apartment above your parents garage? It did have a separate entrance).
I went out and bought the biggest jar of Extra Crunchy JIF you could find. In keeping with my new found independence, I boldly strutted down the bread aisle and in willful defiance picked up the whitest wonderbread on the shelf.
No more gritty peanut butter, just smooth creamy deliciousness.
In later years, I would happily settle for store brand peanut butter, but every time I wandered down the aisle, Smuckers would beckon me, calling me back.
Nearly a decade after leaving All Natural Peanut butter behind, we were eating PB&J's at my brother's house. He and his family had recently made the switch back to Smuckers. It tasted familiar, cozy, but better... Because Smuckers finally got some brains and whipped some honey into their all natural peanut butter. So the Honey flavor was built right in, you didn't have to get that sticky gooeyness all over your hands any more.
At the request of my husband, I reluctantly made the switch back to All Natural. And for the most part I am satisfied with my decision, I mean, I don't want my kid to be the freaky one eating UNnatural peanut butter! Except for the secret jar of JIF hidden in the back of my pantry I bust out on occasion (mmmm... hydrogenized soybean oil).