I wish I had a camera...

when I stepped out of the shower, this morning.
But since I have a strict no cameras in the bedroom/bathroom policy, you will just have to use your imagination.
Cameras laying willy-nilly in your bedroom, just seem like asking for trouble. It is kind of like leaving your BMW windows down, keys in the ignition in a rough neighborhood. I mean yeah, you would be pissed if someone stole your luxury car, but really, could you be mad at anyone but yourself?

Back to this morning and the bathroom. No, wait... another aside.
In my house growing up, the toilet paper holder served primarily as a stand on which to place the new roll. It is a whole family thing. I know this because now that we are all grown and out of the house (mostly) I still come home to find the toilet paper sitting on top of an empty roll still on the holder.

                                                (That's how the Greene's roll, ahh haaaaaaaahaaaaa!)


Growing up in this environment, developed this philosophy: changing the toilet paper roll is not critical, and in fact hardly worth it, unless, and only sometimes, when company is coming over.
The problem occurs when two people collide in Holy Matrimony.

                                                               (too difficult to replace)

Apparently when Everette was growing up, NOT replacing the toilet paper on the holder is some sort of deadly sin (the 8th I think, I haven't founded listed in the Bible, but Everette assures me it's there). Which, I should point out, that he grew up in a house with four boys and one girl; and I grew up in a house of three girls and two boys. And, as we all know, girls go through toilet paper three times as fast as boys. So the frequency of roll changes at my house to his, is like 9 times as often (did I ever tell you Math is my best subject).
Anyway, after several of the a fore mentioned matrimonial collisions, Everette and I came to a compromise...
We bought one of those holders, hook style, where the roll slides on and off without any dismantling of the complicated spring-loaded do-hickey. Ours is the deluxe edition with a magazine rack.

(this is actually the one we have)

Which has worked well for us until now... The problem that occurs when Holy Matrimony collides with Holy Terror. Ok maybe not holy terrors but busy, curious, charming, mischievious, investigative, grabby almost three-year-old didn't quite have the same ring.
OK now, back to this morning.
I stepped out of our shower and in my blurred pre-contact-lens-insertion vision, I saw a swag of TP looped around our bathroom floor. As my eyes searched for the roll, I followed the strand into our bedroom, across our bed, around the corner into Everette's closet. Jonathan, having long since forgotten it, and moved on to other exciting things.
I sighed as I walked across the room, careful not to step on the paper, as my damp feet would surely break the strand.  As I rounded the corner, I saw what was left of the roll. I reached down to pick it up and reroll it. Everette would have ripped it off, because his toilet paper has to be nice and neat as he is a folder. I however, couldn't bear to toss all that TP, and since I am a wadder it makes no difference to me (Actually, I am a wrapper/folder, but that requires to roll  to be free of any anchoring apparatus so I have long since abandoned my wrapping ways and sacrificed to wad. That is correct ladies and gentleman, I am a toilet paper martyr. And I hope someday I will get my crown).
Everette is out of town until Thursday, so I have one and a half days to use all that TP, as I am a girl, it shouldn't be a problem.

Sorry folks, I thought it had been too long since I had talked about some sort of bathroom topic.