Sunday, October 18, 2009

Body Wars

Recently someone left me a comment posing a theory as to why it had been so long between posts. Her theory was preposterous, if I was pregnant, I would be doing nothing but sitting around eating grapes and blogging. I would be posting ten times a day.
But there are two reasons for my lack of recent blogposts.
1. You people think it is so easy to skip on over here and read my verbal vomit (yes-I just said vomit).Then go about your day. Prepare yourselves... I am about to reveal my deepest darkest hidden secret: I am insecure. I am one of those crazy people that spend hours worrying about what people are thinking. I can't continue writing these lame posts without your comments. I am like that annoying cat that climbs up on your bed in the morning and sits on your face until you pet it. I need my ego stroked. It isn't easy coming up with this material, and it is even uneasier (yes I know I made that word up, I do that sometimes) posting it on the world wide web (do people even say that anymore?). It's like nominating yourself for prom queen.  I didn't even go to prom (geesh I am just pulling all my skeletons out). I am very chicken.
I mean, sure, my mom says my posts are funny, but she's my mom. It's her job. Just like she told me I was pretty in middle school. She already lied once. (If you saw my pictures from middle school you wouldn't think that was such a harsh statement- I am just going to say "sheepdog hair cut"). She also told me that the very first pair of glasses I picked out looked great. She doesn't have a very good track record. Oh and while we're at it... in college when I was trying to find myself a good man, I noticed that the only picture she had of me in public viewing was of me in my Mother Superior habit from the Sound of Music. See-- my mother is trying to sabotage me! So in short.. it's all up to you people, if you want to read more of this random crap you have to leave comments, and make me feel all good about myself. I can't afford therapy, so I am finding myself worth in this blog (that's ok right?).

2. the other reason for postlessness can best be explained this way...
When I was younger I went to Disney World.  At Epcot center there was a ride called Body Wars.

It was kind of like Star Trek meets the Magic School Bus. We board this ship and fly into someone's body to help the body fight  off a splinter invader. It talked about the way the body works and how white blood cells fight infection and what not. If you would like to experience it... watch this...
No really, watch it.
Anyway... We have been fighting off sickness around here. Jonathan got sick and topped it with an ear infection. As soon as I spotted the first runny nose I began to pump myself full of vitamins and shooting salt water up my nose. I have been teetering on the edge of sickness. Everette currently is sick in bed. He spent all of Friday in bed with a fever. Jonathan and I are out of town for a wedding. So I left poor Everette sweating in bed, with not even a can of chicken noodle soup in the house. Poor guy had to make is own.

So that is what we have been doing. Body Wars, fighting off alien invaders in our bodies. I am not sure who is winning.

8 comments:

amberbahler said...

Glad you all are okay! After I posted that I got kinda worried that someone was super super sick or died and that had gotten myself a case of foot-in-mouth disease like I usually do.

OH! And your blog is really funny! It's probably my favorite...and that's saying a lot because its not an exaggeration when I say that I have over 50 blogs in my bookmarks. (Okay, so now I feel like the world knows one of my oddities.)

Annie said...

Don't stop! I like your writing!

And, I know what you mean about needing some feedback every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

I'll see if I can remember how to make a comment...of course it probably won't count because of my "poor track record". I mean who in their right mind would ever think you were attractive (right Everette?) Well, your blog IS quite witty and punny and I think you could make money writing, but of course I have to say that, I'm your lame mother.

Angie Oswalt said...

I think your blogs are hilarious! I have it saved on my favorites list -you know the list you can create on internet explorer? Now, about the comments: some people are insecure like you and need feedback on their feedback, which may be the reason for lack of comments (at least on my part! :) I've tried in the past (go look and see), but I have received no comments back from you, causing me to think that you don't like reading my comments, just as you assume people don't like reading your blogs b/c they don't leave comments? Make sense? Good. Love you! :) p.s. - I'll keep commenting now that I know you like our comments! Don't worry though, they won't all be this long!

Megan said...

I feel so special!
Angie, how hilarious... I never comment back because I figure that getting people to read this once is already asking too much. Leaving follow-up comments always seemed like those weird bathroom conversations where the other person ends up leaving the room and you are left talking to yourself in the bathroom stall! But I will totally leave comments from now on.

Angie Oswalt said...

hahaha - so funny Megan!

Me again..Angie said...

p.s. - you don't have to comment back to what I just wrote... :)

Megan said...

oh but what if I do?!?! then what?!?! Anarchy!?!?!
When will the commments stop!