new updates to the selma map

check them out you know you want to.

The Answer

Winn Dixie, for those of you ignorant people from the North is a southern (south eastern) grocery chain.
There happens to be one five minutes from the grammas in Selma.
We took five trips today to make dinner.
I am not joking.
I say "the grammas" because in the sprawling metropolis that is Selma they all live within a 1/2 mile of each other. I have built a map of some of the highlights of Selma. Click on the bubbles to see the commentary. In fact click on the "Selma" link below the map as there are a few points not visible in the tiny version of the map. Please, please. I wasted a lot of time on this.
Welcome to my world people.

View Selma in a larger map

A Riddle

I have done some more investigating, and as it turns out my uploading speed at this internet connection is .3 MB/s which, I don't think is very much. So I will have to add pictures later.
But for now.... I will leave you with this riddle.

How many trips to the Winn Dixie does it take to make one dinner for six adults?


The answer will astound you.

High Society

I apologize for my recent blog silence. Last week we were in MI and I fully intended on blogging our beach adventures but there was no internet!!!!!
So now I am in Selma, Alabama visiting Everette's grandparents and extended family.
And wading through the pictures I have taken. I also have some adorable video, but the computer I am using doesn't quite have the oomph to make upload them.
So I decided I would just start with today.
Jonathan has been quite busy here entertaining great grandmothers, and charming friends and neighbors, swimming, and other adorable baby activities.
This morning (well actually yesterday) gramps decided he was going to teach Jonathan Croquet. Hilarity ensued. Again I have adorable video but for now you will have to be satisfied with pictures. It is my understanding that the proper attire for croquet is all white. It is most definitely not shark pajamas and bare feet. But then, we aren't very high society.

*********After several attempts to upload pictures I have determined that something is not right. However my computer dr happens to live in another state, so I will have to wait until I can plan a phone consult or until I get back to civiliz....uhh I mean Lafayette.
Sorry folks.

Don't Drink the Water

There is a hex on all things water related in this house.
It all started the day My bunn broke. And things have been going downhill ever since.
Here is the ever increasing list. You might want to go to the bathroom now, as this could get lengthy and you might be afraid to afterward.
1. My bunn broke.
2. We have a super flusher toilet in our guest bathroom. It isn't something we installed, it came with the house but we have enjoyed it nonetheless. A few months ago it started "acting funny" it seemed to have lost it's oomph. Everette stuck a snake down there and wiggled it around, but nothing turned up. So we did what any normal homeowner would do. Put the lid down and stopped using it.
Later we were having houseguests, the kind we'd never met before, so you really don't want to put caution tape over the lid and make them walk downstairs. So Everette started working on it again. We tried several things we thought might be broken in the upper tank. But when all of those were resolved and the tank still wouldn't flush right we had to move onto the bowl.
However time was running out as it was friday evening and our house guests were coming saturday. Everette took the toilet off of the pipe and into my recently cleaned bath tub (I don't blame him--I just want you to feel my heart sink as I saw that toilet go into the tub). My job was to remove the wax ring (gross). After several buckets of water dumped through the toliet, and Everette digging a few clumps of toilet paper (sorry for being so graphic) we thought we had the problem solved. So we got out the new wax ring and replaced the toliet with relative ease. Sadly.. the toilet still would not flush. At this point Everette was ready to go out and buy a new toilet. But in one final act of desperation he removed the toilet again, and I scraped off the new wax ring again. After more buckets of water and toliet jiggling, finally Everette saw/heard something. Using a flashlight he found a small round plastic disc. Using a coat hanger he pulled it through the opening a the bottom of the toilet. It was our toilet bowl cleaner.Consumer caution: Don not buy these. They smell great, and the work well, but your toilet will eat them.

Which for the record we had noticed had gone missing when we first discovered the problem, but we couldn't find any evidence of it so we assumed it was some other problem.
Everette in his wisdom bought two wax toliet rings so we opened the last package and restored the toliet to its full glorty Power flush and all.

3. The exact same week as all of this toilet, house guest incident. Our Water heater began a slow painful death. It is dying, as in present active participle. Everette has tried a few things to revive it, but it seems to be terminal. Truthfully, it hasn't affected Everette or me too much as there is almost always hot water in the morning. Poor Jonathan either gets deprieved of his evening bath or fills the house with blood curdling screams due to the less-than-warm nature of his bath water (it only happened once people). However the Sunday morning we had strangers in our house, things got a little tricky. Everette got up at 6 AM to take a shower, and I at 7:30 took the least-hottest shower I could stand. For now I think we have decided to call the water heater's bluff. I think we have convinced ourselves that it will miraculously heal itself. Excuse me. I need to go down to the basement and lay hands on it.

4. A week or so later, the garbage disposal clogged. As I was fixing that (yes-me, all by myself). I discovered....

5. that our Reverse Osmosis water filter was leaking. Quite rapidly. Everette was of course gone, so I had no other choice but to turn off the water to the filter. Which meant, no more delicious water, and probably the greatest of all tragedies--no ice. This in the Mills household falls under signs of the Apocalpse. Everette especially, needs ice. I mean he needs it.
How else can the mad drink 12 powerade slushies a night without ice!?
Since I had an emergency bag in the freezer downstairs the reverse osmosis filter has been moved to the noncritical list and will have to wait until after we return from vacation.The amount of ice it takes to satisfy Everette's slushie cravings.

6. Speaking of slushies, let's add this to the list of things under the water hex. During a slushie making spree, I discovered that my blender was leaking. Everytime I used it, a spring of black, sticky slushy water would run down the bottom of the belnder into the motor. It was black because it was leaking from the bottom of the blender where the balde connects to the jar. Since slushie making has become a nightly routine. This was bad. Handy Everette assessed the situation and determined that the blender was unfixable and was in need of replacement.My new Oster beehive blender, professional series. It is amazing.

7. And finally today to cap it ALL off. I woke up and an unspeakable hour because my son, my darling son, was awake. In a sleepy haze I went to the master bathroom. I reached up to flush the toilet and.... nothing. THe handle went down but nothing happened. In fact, the handle went down, too easily. So coming out of my stupor, with my child crying in the background I lifted the tank to discover the handle had broken. The toilet will flush, but you have to reach your hand into the tank and pull up on the chain. Who wants to do that?


Now do you see why we are cursed?
Oh... by the way, Everette kindly recleaned the bathtub. On his own. I didn't even ask.

ooo. oooo. I just thought of another one! Jonathan's baby pool, when we got it out we discovered that it had a leak in it and wouldn't hold air (it's the blow up kind).

Stay away from the water people!

Sometimes there are just no words

Having missed the Michael Jackson tribute, I was went looking for highlights. Youtube never disappoints, I stumbled across something truly bizarre.
The King of Weirdness managed to inspires some truly bizarre behavior.
I have nothing to say about this video clip except if you click on the link, you won't be offended, just dumbfounded.

A birthday Post

This is Everette. This is how Everette looks 90% of the time. He is a very serious fella. Very smart, genius actually (in my opinion). Very straight laced. He likes to wear collared shirts and asks for file cabinets for his 13th birtday. He does make jokes, sometimes, but you have to really know him to know they are jokes.

Most of the time you take a picture of Everette this is how he looks, or above. A handsome guy, really. Just not the first to flash you a grin.
Unless he is around something he loves....
He is a bit of a geek really. But I happen to think geeks are super sexy. And I happen to love this geek very much. I know for a fact that I drive him batty, I have even been known to drive him to drink. There are times when he drives me batty too.
There are times when we both drive each other batty at the same time. But at the end of the day, if someone is going to drive you batty, he is it for me! I have known him for eight or so years. He fathered my child. I am continually amazed at the things he knows. Seriously you can ask him anything. He could be his own Cha-Cha service. If you don't mind your facts peppered with a dose of cynicism and blunt honesty.
He is also very handy...

Like I said, he is very straightlaced and rarely cuts loose. Unless he is really enjoying himself.
Like swimming with dolphins...

Or water in general... Or being mischievous and playing. He LOVES to play. He is a man of action. Can I emphasize how smart he is? For instance he could have gotten rid of this bothersome hyperlink on this text, but if I asked him, he would have known what I was doing. SO I guess I will just have to live with it.
Sometimes he will even go with me and let me take awkward artsy photos of him. He hates having his picture taken, but he loves me.


He will smile in a picture if he is holding his son (the afore mentioned love-child). He loves that kid. He has reached new depths of love and poured forth fountains of patients and understanding. As well as a greatly needed bull-headed stubborness.

Sometimes, when the planets align I can catch him on camera in those rare occasions when he really cuts loose.

Like when he shaves off his beard in phases, and lingers on the hitler stache, just because he knows it gives me the willies.
Or when he insistes on showing me whatever happens to be in his mouth at the moment.


But as great as all of these smiling pictures are, my favorites are these. Ever. My most favorite pictures of Everette in the whole wolrd are these...
And today is his birthday!
Happy Birthday! I love Sheep!

It's a traffic jam...

When you're already late.
A no smoking sign... on your cigarette break.
It's like ten thousand spoons... when all you need is a knife.
It's like meeting the man of my dreams.. then meeting his beautiful wife.

And isn't it ironic, don't you think.
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think..

It's like rain, on your wedding day.
A free ride... when you've already paid.
It's good advice... that you just didn't take.
And who would've thought... it figures (or figgers).

You know what else is ironic...
leaving your car out yesterday afternoon hoping it would rain.
Then it doesn't rain, so today you suck it up and pay for a car wash.
Then you go to the grocery store, where it proceeds to pour on your newly washed car, but only in the area where you are, because everything is dry at your house, so you have to water all your plants when you get home.

And Life has a funny way...