Sunday, January 10, 2010

Bad Parenting 101

1. Keep your child up past his 2:00 PM nap time on Saturday.
2. Put him down for a nap at 4 PM
3. Panic because its 7 PM and he is still sound asleep.
4. Wake him up for dinner.
5. Decide today is the day you are going to smack down on dinner and refuse to give him anything other than the stuff you made.
6. Listen to incessant wailing.
7. Give child a bath.
8. Try to put to sleep at 8:45 Pm a mere hour and a half after you wake him up.
9. Listen to lots of incessant wailng

1. Take tired cranky-sleep-deprived baby out to lunch after church.
2. Fail to keep him awake for the final two minutes of the drive home.
3.Unsuccessfully transfer him to the crib.
4. Listen to him cheerily chatter for an hour  with an impending sense of dread.
5. Progeny enters bedroom tired, sweetly sleeping baby; comes out fire-breathing rage-aholic dragon from the most terrifying darkness.  Think Godzilla.
6. Pull down the blinds, lock the doors and windows, hide under your bed and pray for darkness, when you can either 1) escape the house under the cover of night, or 2) the fire-breathing dragon collapses in complete and utter exhaustion from his screaming body-flailing rants. Or both.


Anonymous said...

Well, he can't be perfect all the time. Hope all of you have a good night. Love you, Mimi

Annie said...

Oh dear...

melissa said...

Hey! I took that class too!