Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Pastor the Superhero

This is my pastor.

Dan S. Teefy (the "S" stands for Smokin' in case you were wondering...)

Please ignore the slightly cheesy smile. He is cursed with a generally cheery disposition, and he just can't help himself.

You might think I am being silly or exaggerating, but he really is a superhero. He has real super powers.

For one he can fly....

For two (yes, I really said "for two")

He drank from the fountain of youth, and while he appears to be in his early thirties he is really 65, a nice respectable age for a pastor. Alright, he is in his early thirties, but he definitely has the wisdom of a 65 year-old.

For threes (now I am pluralizing, you might want to sit down),
He has an indestructible immune system (his words, not mine).

For fours, He is a super dad.

His girls are 8 parts adorable, and 12 parts crazy adorable.
And they have super powers too.

For Fives
He married Wonderwoman (who happens to be quite possibly the very best friend I have ever had in my entire life--sisterS excluded of course).

He will also freely admit that he used his super stealth power to stalk her (in the most UNcreepiest way) across the campus of Illinois University to woo her with his Super charm.

This is their actual wedding photo. How do do you resist a man dressed like that.

For Sixes
And I think this is probably the most important. He will do your personal shopping for you.

SuperDan was in Chicago for a superhero convention, under the guise of our Denomination's Midwinter Conference. He will tell you they talked about church politics but I know they were practicing burning things with their laser beam eyes and bending steel with their super strength.
Anyway below is an email Wonderwoman sent out to fifty of her closest friends last week while SuperDan was away.

 Hey ladies.
My husband is going to ikea tomorrow around 1pm.  If there is anything (within reasonable size) that you would like him to pick up for you call him @ xxx-xxx-xxxx (did you really think I would give out the personal cell phone number of a real honest to goodness superhero?)

Sooo. She offered, and I called. I left Dan a message that sounded something like this...
Hello, you have reached the voiceBOX of Dan Tee.fey....
"Heeeyy Dan, I don't know if you know this, but your wife sent out an email offering your personal shopping services. uhh.. If you're cool with that, there is something I want from IKEA. But it isn't a big deal and don't spend a ton of time looking for it. blah blah blah." (any of you who have ever received a phone message from me knows it definitely did NOT sound like that, because I sound like a babbling idiot on people's voiceboxes. And when I say "babbling idiot", I mean I sound just like my mom. Seriously, I have left messages for family members that began with..."Hi, it's Megan, sooo this is going to be a Susan message, so I am really sorry, but, blah blah blah." Sorry mom, you know I love you! And just as an aside, aside for anyone who might be concerned that I just called my mom a babbling idiot, I will bet you five million dollars that when she reads this part she will laugh so hard that she cries and falls out of her chair, and she will then go on to read it to every single person she knows. My mom has been known to read my blog to strangers at parties.)

So anyway, back to SuperDan. Like any great superhero he rose to the occasion, because he loves a challenge, and he loves people. He is cool like that. And also for the record, he had no idea that Wonderwoman even sent that email out. Of course the one item I wanted was impossible to find, that even his x-ray vision was useless. He scoured and he searched for hours, he descended into the bowels of IKEA just for me (I am sure there is a sermon analogy in there somewhere). He went into the bowels of IKEA, and returned victorious! He drove home through treacherous road conditions (last week was Snowpacalypse, remember) to deliver, safely, my six white ceramic pots. I told you, it was really important.

So Thank you SuperDan. For everything. Everything you do, everything you are. And for trading in your superhero cape to lead our church with humility, and wisdom, and compassion. And mostly dragging your wife's sorry butt all the way over here to Indiana, so we could stay out late and eat pie!

No comments: