Wedding Part 12

So I'm back.

Sorry about being gone. I started reading a book. And when I read a book, I pretty much don't want to do anything else. Like blogging. Or laundry. Or dishes. Or vacuuming. You can ask Everette, he will happily agree.
Plus I trimmed my fingernails and I trimmed them a little too close. So it hurt my fingers to type. I know. I have real problems.  You all feel real bad for me. I do too.
Anyway back to the task at hand. You are still waiting to hear about the awesome wedding.
All 3 of you. Make that 2, my mother was already there.

The rehearsal was much like any other rehearsal. Except that it was short, which was awesome.
Then we all headed out to Murder Rock for the rehearsal dinner. That's right I said Murder Rock. I'm not sure what you are thinking, but you are wrong. The name had something to do with events during the Civil War. But I didn't really read up on it. I would say that if you were looking to murder someone, this place wouldn't be bad. It was on top of the most giant hill in the middle of nowhere. You drove on a road that made you want to put your hands up in the air and scream, because as you crested a hill, you weren't sure if there was a road over the other side. It is similar to the Beast at Kings Island. Only, it was longer than 70 seconds. But then when you arrived, you were literally sitting on top of the world (or at least Branson Missouri). The view was breathtaking, especially at sunset. I have no pictures. Because who has time for pictures when you are living.

The drive home, in the dark, was, exhilaratingly terrifying. I know, because I drove it. I used my GPS and it was saying things like, "go until the road drops out beneath you, free fall 900 feet and then turn left." It was super fun. Let's do it again.
Let's skip all of the hair styling, and boring stuff and get to the wedding.

The day was sunny and warm. The view was spectacular. The Bride was stunning. And I got home and realized I had two pictures. Lame.

So I will shamelessly steal what others made available on Facebook. In fact Aaron Ide, husband of one of the bridesmaids took all of these amazing pictures. I did not take any.  These are all his. Thanks Aaron.

This is the Chapel at Integrity Hills. Behind it is breathtaking view of the Ozarks and Table Rock Lake

The Groomsmen: Everette (sorry ladies, he's taken), Grant (soon-to-be-groom himself), and Dr. Jack (that's right ladies, he's a doctor, and he is single, and I can also say, he's a pretty good dancer)

The Father of the groom, has nothing to do except be anxious.

That is one proud Mamma! Mary A Mills and her son, the groom, Brad.

This is Meghan's mother Margaret, and her two brothers, Robert and Jared (Left to Right)

Look at my handsome escort!

 So the big question of the weekend, was Jonathan going to go down the aisle alone. We spent a great deal of time practicing, But in the end he went down with me. I was a little disappointed, but in the end, I don't think it mattered.

Here comes the Bride! Beautiful. 

The View from the pew. Not bad.

The wedding was straight out of a storybook, or better yet, a movie...

except..... duh. duh. duh....

This is me... and Karie. Her husband took all of these beautiful pictures. 

Karie stood next to me at the front of the chapel.

Five minutes into this dreamlike wedding, a GIANT and I do mean Giant wasp floated down and landed on her golden hair. 

My instinct was to recoil. But I was not going to be the one to ruin this wedding. So I held firm with my smile  in place, but my eyes trained on the killer wasp seconds away from injecting it's deadly stinger into Karie's poor head. I was sending telepathic messages to the wasp to move. I was trying to decide if I should warn Karie to spare her life, at the risk of ruining this picture perfect event or if I should just scoot closer to her so I could catch her should she slump over from the deadly sting. Thus keeping her erect until the ceremony was over so the bride was none the wiser, and nothing would ruin her glorious day. Having spent the weekend with Karie, I was confident she would prefer I do the latter. Suddenly the wasp took flight. 

It was now my mission to destroy the deadly wasp, and save the entire wedding from imminent peril. I was limited to commanding the wasp with only my eyes, as my body was frozen in the perfect bridesmaid pose. I was shooting death rays with my eyes, but the wasp was deftly outmaneuvering me.
I then began to concentrate trying to will the wasp closer to me, Risking my own death. My plan was command the wasp to land on the ground close to me, so that I could free my foot from bridesmaid stone statue pose and squish it with my lethal bridesmaid shoes. Trust me, they really were lethal. But the wasp was smart. And at the last second it swooped up out of my reach.

I nearly gasped at the sight of that smug little bug defiantly landing it's giant ugly wasp body right on the bride herself. But I never broke character. I was a bridesmaid after all.
While trying to decide the best course of action, to my relief the wasp buzzed off the dress. Suddenly the wasp tripped himself in the air, and dive bombed to the ground. Just as the preacher was stepping toward the happy couple.  I held my breath, concentrating all my super powers on maneuvering the preachers foot directly onto the struggling wasp. But alas, I was unsuccessful. Thwarted again. 

But I guess the pesky wasp saw the writing on the wall, and he high-tailed it to the back of the chapel where he was no longer a threat to anyone, or to me at least. 

And that, it the story of how I, the super bridesmaid saved the day, and the bride and groom and pretty much the entire wedding was totally unaware.

 Tomorrow we'll close this puppy out with the reception.