Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Year of the Dog

Anyone who has ever known me for any amount of time, knows that I am not a dog lover.
Not really at all. But still I find myself with a large obnoxious dog. Why? Because I am married, and being married requires a lot of sacrifice. Just ask Everette. :) The story of how I ended up with a dog is a long story for another time. But the fact remains I have a dog.

As far as dogs go, we have been pretty fortunate. He doesn't get into the trash (only rarely when it over full). He never destroyed a diaper. He doesn't jump up. He doesn't get on counters. He is incredibly tolerant of children and he is rather protective of Jonathan. 
That being said. I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HEAR WITH THAT DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember a week ago when I posted these beautiful pictures

The fruit of my labor of an afternoon spent in the beautiful sunshine on my knees digging in the earth.
Something I generally enjoy.... as long as I have gloves on, and my hands don't get dirty. (I know I am a paradox)

By Friday, they pretty much looked like this.

Decimated. Barren.

By my ridiculous dog.

At the time I was unsure how much was bunny damage and how much was dog damage.
I am now fairly certain it was dog destruction.

Saturday, I zipped over to Bennett's to buy my second twenty dollar flat of broccoli and cabbage. Since a monsoon had just been through, I wanted to wait a few days for the soil to drain. So I placed my flat full of beautiful green broccoli plants just inside the garage. Certain it was too close to the house for the the bunnies to come munching. Two hours later, I walked outside to absolute carnage. Max, the dog, had pulled three packs of three broccoli plants out of the flat. Yanked the tiny tender plants out of the sleeve, roots and all, chomped off the beautiful green leaves and left the decimation splayed across the driveway. I was too angry to do anything more than rescue the rest of my plants. It was one of those moments, where self-control was hanging on by a thin thread, and dangling violently in the breeze. I believe my body was trembling with anger. I did what any good woman would do. Left it on the driveway for Everette to deal with.

Monday, I set out to plant what remained from my veggie flat. I replanted EVERYTHING I had planted only a week before. Broccoli, and Cabbage. Max had eaten everything in the bed except for the two Chinese Cabbage plants (No one wants to admit that their dog is racial profiling, but he totally barks when the Chinese Delivery guy comes by).   Again the day was beautiful, and my heart was full as I bent over the dirt, thinking of a beloved friend of mine and Master Gardener, and the conversation we've shared over the years about vegetables and gardens. A friend, who was, that very day, leaving this world for the next.

I sat back once again, satisfied with the fruits of my labor. I meticulously sprayed Deer Away over every little chute. Main ingredient: Putrefied Egg Solids. Yep it smells as delightful as it sounds. It is good for keeping bunnies and deer and most dogs away from your vegetation.

Tuesday I went outside between rain showers. To discover this...

Total Broccoli Devastation.

THAT BLASTED Dog had made it a sport. He left his trophies. He uprooted my broccoli plants, chomped off the leaves and tossed them about for play.

Then there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. It wasn't pretty people.

So now we bought a fence, and another twenty dollars of broccoli. That's right folks. $60 in broccoli plants. I told Everette I could buy a lot of broccoli at the grocery store. But now it's personal.

I'll keep you updated as the saga continues. If you see an ad on craigslist for a vegetarian dog, don't be surprised. Even Everette has his limits when it comes to his vegetable patch.

1 comment:

Natalie Snapp @ Mommy on Fire said...

Oh, Megan...I'm sorry. I truly am. And I'm also somewhat stifling a giggle if I must be completely honest here.

We are growing broccoli for the first time this year and I'm a little confused by it. It's certainly been a learning experience.

AND...I didn't know you had a blog! Fun!!!