My Pastor the Superhero

This is my pastor.

Dan S. Teefy (the "S" stands for Smokin' in case you were wondering...)

Please ignore the slightly cheesy smile. He is cursed with a generally cheery disposition, and he just can't help himself.

You might think I am being silly or exaggerating, but he really is a superhero. He has real super powers.

For one he can fly....

For two (yes, I really said "for two")

He drank from the fountain of youth, and while he appears to be in his early thirties he is really 65, a nice respectable age for a pastor. Alright, he is in his early thirties, but he definitely has the wisdom of a 65 year-old.

For threes (now I am pluralizing, you might want to sit down),
He has an indestructible immune system (his words, not mine).

For fours, He is a super dad.

His girls are 8 parts adorable, and 12 parts crazy adorable.
And they have super powers too.

For Fives
He married Wonderwoman (who happens to be quite possibly the very best friend I have ever had in my entire life--sisterS excluded of course).

He will also freely admit that he used his super stealth power to stalk her (in the most UNcreepiest way) across the campus of Illinois University to woo her with his Super charm.

This is their actual wedding photo. How do do you resist a man dressed like that.

For Sixes
And I think this is probably the most important. He will do your personal shopping for you.

SuperDan was in Chicago for a superhero convention, under the guise of our Denomination's Midwinter Conference. He will tell you they talked about church politics but I know they were practicing burning things with their laser beam eyes and bending steel with their super strength.
Anyway below is an email Wonderwoman sent out to fifty of her closest friends last week while SuperDan was away.


 Hey ladies.
My husband is going to ikea tomorrow around 1pm.  If there is anything (within reasonable size) that you would like him to pick up for you call him @ xxx-xxx-xxxx (did you really think I would give out the personal cell phone number of a real honest to goodness superhero?)

Sooo. She offered, and I called. I left Dan a message that sounded something like this...
Hello, you have reached the voiceBOX of Dan Tee.fey....
 
"Heeeyy Dan, I don't know if you know this, but your wife sent out an email offering your personal shopping services. uhh.. If you're cool with that, there is something I want from IKEA. But it isn't a big deal and don't spend a ton of time looking for it. blah blah blah." (any of you who have ever received a phone message from me knows it definitely did NOT sound like that, because I sound like a babbling idiot on people's voiceboxes. And when I say "babbling idiot", I mean I sound just like my mom. Seriously, I have left messages for family members that began with..."Hi, it's Megan, sooo this is going to be a Susan message, so I am really sorry, but, blah blah blah." Sorry mom, you know I love you! And just as an aside, aside for anyone who might be concerned that I just called my mom a babbling idiot, I will bet you five million dollars that when she reads this part she will laugh so hard that she cries and falls out of her chair, and she will then go on to read it to every single person she knows. My mom has been known to read my blog to strangers at parties.)

So anyway, back to SuperDan. Like any great superhero he rose to the occasion, because he loves a challenge, and he loves people. He is cool like that. And also for the record, he had no idea that Wonderwoman even sent that email out. Of course the one item I wanted was impossible to find, that even his x-ray vision was useless. He scoured and he searched for hours, he descended into the bowels of IKEA just for me (I am sure there is a sermon analogy in there somewhere). He went into the bowels of IKEA, and returned victorious! He drove home through treacherous road conditions (last week was Snowpacalypse, remember) to deliver, safely, my six white ceramic pots. I told you, it was really important.

So Thank you SuperDan. For everything. Everything you do, everything you are. And for trading in your superhero cape to lead our church with humility, and wisdom, and compassion. And mostly dragging your wife's sorry butt all the way over here to Indiana, so we could stay out late and eat pie!

A worthwhile thought

Every once in a while I come across something, I feel is worth repeating.. And since I have this blog, I am repeating it here. And since you were foolish enough to click on the link, you have to read it.

This is from a Bible Study I am currently in....


"...true conviction doesn't look for loopholes, and it isn't sad.  Of course, we may feel grief when parting with something we enjoy, but if true conviction is present we will begin to look at that thing as something that was taking the place of God, something that was stealing from us. As we rid it from our lives we will be hopeful with anticipation, anxious to see what God will do in this newly-created space. We will not look for loopholes. We will be resolved. We will know that we are in a position to gain, not to be stolen from any longer."
                                                                                 -Kelly Minter
                                                                                    No Other Gods

Something to think about.

Surviving Snowmageddon

It is 8:30 PM and Everette is on the phone still working. A rarity even for him.
Jonathan is in bed, and dinner is cleaned up....mostly.
So I thought I would leave you a few tips on how to survive the BLIZZARD OF THE CENTURY: a.k.a SNOWMAGEDDON a.k.a. SNOWPACALYPSE

1. Go to the store and buy every egg carton on the shelf, 10 gallons of milk, and 12 pkgs of Double Suff Oreo Cookies (to go with the milk).

2. Check the weather for updates every 3 minutes.

3. Check the real time weather updates (i.e. look out the window).

4. Prance around your house yelling, "the blizzard is coming! the blizzard is coming!"

5. Realize it is possible that the power might go out.  Check to make sure outward facial expressions reflect the solemnity of the situation. Squeal with delight, inwardly. The power might go out!

6. Begin to frantically do laundry in case the power goes out.

7. Strip your bed to wash your sheets, the pray that the power doesn't go out... until your sheets are dry and back on your bed.

8. Begin to fill jugs of water, because the power MIGHT go out!

9. Bathe yourself and your entire family, because the power might go out!

10. Sit and listen to the sleet pelt your window.

11. Peer out your window every 5 minutes to check if the snow fall has reached catastrophic levels,and wonder when the  power is going to go out.

12. Slump your shoulders in disappointment because it NEVER reaches catastrophic levels.

13. Remember that you live in Indiana and snow storms are NEVER as bad as predicted.

14. Sigh. blow out your candle (that you lit, in case the power went out)  and slink off to bed in your warm toasty fully powered house, because you know you have to shovel your driveway tomorrow.

15. Head outside the next morning to assess the situation... quickly realize you are standing on TOP of 4 inches of sleet and snow. on TOP of it people. It was like walking on a snow cone.

16. Put your shovel down to make that first cut across your driveway.

17. Fall on your butt because you completely underestimated the fact that the sneet (snow and sleet, people) is glued to your driveway, and it weighed 12 tons.

18. Go whine to your husband, who doesn't get a snow day because he works from home, that your back hurts and you can't shovel the driveway because it's too hard.

19. Sit inside all warm and cozy (because the power didn't go out) while your husband breaks up the sneet with a jackhammer and crowbar.

20. Feel guilty because he has a bad back too, and go out and help.

21. Regret not putting on a sports bra, because this is some serious cardio.

22. Feel triumphant because you and your husband with two snow shovels and a snub nosed regular shovel shoveled out your much longer driveway before your neighbor (who even started before you) did with his fancy pants snow blower.

23. Go back inside, drink 12 cups of hot chocolate (and 2 packages of Oreo cookies) and never leave the house for the next 3 days, it is Snowmageddon after all.

24. Open the fridge and wonder what in the crap you are going to do with all those eggs.

25. Go to the store because you are out of milk, and oreos.

This.

This is Diet Dr Pepper Chocolate Milk Water. It is the newest hottest trend in America's quest for hydration.

It's delicious... sort of...
You might think, wow that's a weird combo. How do you get Diet Dr Pepper Chocolate Milk Water?

Easy.
Allow me to explain.

First, you give birth to a boy. You instill in this boy a love for all acceptable forms of liquid hydration. Then, you fill up his Nalgene bottle with chocolate milk (you do this, even though it is early in the morning, because you are trying to get out the door without the beginning of World War III, and you justify it because you are absolutely planning on stopping at Starbucks for a latte).
Then, you take the boy on a road trip. To O'Hare to drop your brother-in-law off to board a plane bound for Spain (where he plans to be a world famous matador).

Then you let your son watch "bideos" the whole way up. Then you turn directly around and head back to Lafayette. And you suddenly realize, that this is not really a short trip to Chicago, it is really an all day 6 hour journey.
Then you let your son fall asleep in the car, which he does, and you are happy for one hour. Then you realize that you drank 700 ounces of Diet Dr Pepper and you have to pee. 

So you try to stop gradually hoping he will stay asleep... No luck.

It is 15 minutes later when you realize that you must have left your son back at the gas station, and instead strapped a screeching howler monkey into his seat, you cry a little inside.

You refuse to let him watch any more "DBDs" because you are really into self-torture and you have deluded yourself into thinking he will go back to sleep.
He begins to scream for chocolate milk, which of course you don't have. So you offer water. He screams in protest.
Because you are an awesome mother, you attempt to pour the bottle of water into your Diet Dr Pepper cup while driving so your beloved son can drink through a straw.  He chucks it on the floor and you are right back where you started, except the delicious pellet ice in your cup is now melted.
He then demands the water in his chocolate milk "cuppy". And because you are in bondage to your tyrannical screeching howler monkey you carefully remove the lid and bravely place the cup between your legs. And while drving 70+ mph on the Interstate you pour the Diet Dr Pepper water into the green nalgene bottle.  At this moment, you realize that you probably would have been better off just peeing your pants because at least that would have been warm water in your crotch... and your howler monkey would still be asleep.
Because you are human, and sometimes you need to feel vindicated, you put the lid back on the bottle, give it a good shake to completely mix in the residual chocolate milk sludge and hand it back to your monkey.

Waiting for him to take his first drink of the wretched concoction, smirking a little to yourself.
But alas, he drinks it happily and remains silent for the remainder of the trick. You are one part disappointed, then you remember that this is the same kid to who dips his potato chips in applesauce and his apples in ketchup. So mostly you are grateful to have appeased the howler monkey. 

You get home, and it dawns on you that the combination must have created some strange chemical reaction, and the liquid turned into some sort of baby crack.  So you decide to bottle it and make a million dollars so you can call up those silly "Baby Einstein" inventors and tell them that they can stick it! That you can take something incredibly dull and common and make a fortune from it too!

bottoms up everyone!

Happy New Year

I guess I should post something before the entire month of January slips by.
Especially since a lot of you are dying to know about Christmas.
Just in case you were wondering... I got it.
The mop.
yep.
And it is everything I hoped it would be.
I have mopped my floors twice in the past two weeks. Which is probably more than they were mopped in 2010.
Don't judge me.
I have issues.
One of them being, I detest mopping.... and vacuuming, and dusting, and cleaning in general.
I also buckled down and sorted through all of Jonathan's toys.
Took a giant trash bag to Goodwill and two plastic tubs down to the basement.
I am going to be honest, I am not saying the kid needs more toys (he Most DEFINATELY doesn't) but there aren't that many right now.
Mostly trains and puzzles.
peace out. sorry for the boring post.

christmas eve

Well, techincally it's Christmas. But since I refuse to start the next day before I go to bed, it is still Christmas Eve.
My house is quiet. and dark, except the the tree and the mantle. I have Christmas Carols playing on Pandora. The snow is silently and magically falling. In the stillness there is peace.
I would be lying if I said this was the best Christmas ever. It isn't even close. Not by a long shot.  I think we (those at my house) are feeling the oppression of disease. Everette's mom is one and half weeks into her first chemo. She is feeling pretty ok now, but her white counts are low and I think we are all waiting, our breath caught in our chest.
A lovely women in our congregation, and I do mean lovely, quietly left her body yesterday. She passed away, in her home, next to her beloved husband. Just like that. Silently, without warning, and with no parting words. But she leaves a grieving husband, and a son, and grandchildren.

Today, somewhere across the country, someone I do not know, and does not know me, lost their sweet baby boy. His tiny body only days old could not fight any longer, and he too left a grieving family.

And now Christmas is here. And it seems unwelcome, an inconvenient nuisance.
And yet it is not. Because it is the beginning of hope.
I think it is great that Jesus came as a baby and this is the season we celebrate his birth.  but kind of.. who cares?
"A people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned." Isaiah 9:2

A light. A great light. A tiny flicker of light surrounded by deep darkness. A beacon of hope, and salvation shattering the darkness.  A source of comfort and peace. A lamp, and a torch.
I have been thinking a lot about Jesus being the light of the world. I think because, we are all familiar with darkness. It surrounds us.  And we all know what power the light holds.

John 1:4-5 "In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
Amen


John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
The Word of God became flesh.  I think an important thing to know, that before the birth of Christ, there had been 400 years of silence from God. There were no prophets. No one was speaking prophetic words. For 400 long years the Israelites as a people heard nothing from the Lord Almighty.
And then... the word... became flesh. And made his dwelling among the people.

praise God.
for the Light of the World, and the Living Word, in the form of a baby.
ok. my bed is calling me.
Mighty Christmas!

I really am a grown up

One of the ways I mark just exactly how old I feel, since we all know age has nothing to do with adulthood, is by the items on my Christmas/Birthday List.
I used to define "gift" as something you really wanted, but it was totally impractical or completely frivolous. For example: any manner of shoes, hair accessories, makeup, clothing (non-essential), entertainment and jewelry.
Slowly, over a number of years, much like the English language, my definition has evolved.
Into: usable items. Items that benefit other members of my family.
Like a ceramic coated large cast iron dutch oven. Or a food processor. Or 1000 Thread Count bed sheets (best christmas gift ever!).

This year, I mark another notch on my growth chart.
Because this is the number one item on my Christmas list this year.

a mop.

A shark SteamPocket Mop to be exact. But still, a glorified mop.

I  am caught in a conflict of emotions.

My heart literally accelerates, when I think about this gift, but then my cheeks burn with shame that I could actually be excited about something as domestic and unexciting as a mop.

 

Every time I look at my grody floors, I quiver with anticipation. 

I don't know if you have seen the inside of my house, but I have a lot of floor to mop. And I hate mopping. Because... it either requires lugging a bucket, making frequent trips to the sink, dirty water, or 700 swiffer pads and still streaky floors.

But this mop. It is a wonder. It plugs in (no batteries-a big plus). And with two or three cups of water, and one or two WASHABLE pads, I can clean my whole floor.

No special floor cleaner, no buckets of dirty water sloshing all over. Just water.

I am officially 87 years old folks. 

And I really hope I get it this year!

Mocha Truffles (A.k.a. mocha balls)

I get several requests a year for my recipe for Mocha balls. It is a recipe from my grandmother. It isn't a secret and it isn't, I am pretty, sure even hers.
So I figured I would write it all here and from now on just refer people to this site. And so I can remember from one year to the next. If you aren't interested in ever making truffles, then you can just skip this post.
It all started one year when I was too poor/bad at saving money to buy Christmas gifts. Then it continued the next year when I had potential in-laws to impress. Now I am buying presents and making mocha balls. What is up with that? So I have been making them for almost 10 years and I, after several colossal failures, have figured out a pretty reliable system.

Before I go any further, the photo above is not of my actual mocha balls, because, I am way too lazy to photograph the operation. But I promise they will look just like this.

Here is the actual recipe:

1 pkg cream cheese (softened)

24 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips (melted in a double boiler)

3 T instant coffee

2t hot water (am I the only one who prefers big "T" and little "t" when notating tablespoon and teaspoon,                              to me it is much more clear)

2 lb Dark chocolate candy coating

white chocolate

Dissolve the coffee in the water. In a mixer combine cream cheese and melted chocolate. Add coffee. Mix until smooth and combined.

Refrigerate the dough. Once it is solid roll into balls and place in freezer.

Melt dark chocolate, dip balls into chocolate, cool on wax paper. Refrigerate. Eat.

Here are my notes:

I use Starbucks Via (Italian roast) 3-4 sleeves per batch. It is expensive, but SOOOO much better.
Frequently, I melt one 12 oz pkg of semi-sweet chocolate with one 12oz pkg of Ande's mint baking chips.
Try it. You won't regret it. This makes them Peppermint Mocha Truffles

Some procedure hints:

I HATE to get my hands all dirty so I pour the dough into a large rectangular tupperware container and freeze it.
Then I get a melon baller and some hot water and scoop the dough out into little balls.
It is important to get a melon baller like this one. (USE THE SMALL END and you can get more bang for your buck)

Not like this one:

I can't really explain it, but the latter just doesn't work.  The baller needs to be able to rotate completely around to cut out a perfect circle.

Here is the method:
Dip (in warm water)
scoop (really it is more like "Cut")
tap (on the side of storage container, and perfectly round chocolate ball drops into container--ok sometimes it isn't exactly perfectly round, but I have found, that no one complains and they all get eaten)
Dip*Scoop*Tap
and repeat.
Once I have scooped the entire surface area, I stick the container in the microwave for a few seconds at a time to soften it. Once soften, I re-smooth the dough and refreeze and repeat the whole process, a few hours/days later.
When they have all been scooped it is time to start dipping.
First..clear some space in your fridge for a baking sheet to rest. (It can tediously balanced on top of the milk)
Melt the dark chocolate in a double boiler. Melt the white chocolate in the microwave, and thin it with vegetable oil, until it drizzles pretty easily.
Line two baking sheets with wax paper (or aluminum foil, if you suddenly realize you are out of wax paper)
Get yourself a pickle grabber (and Christmas music-this is a critical part of the procedure)
 (or pickle pincher)

grab a few (not all) of the balls from the freezer
use the grabber to dip the balls into the chocolate and drop onto the wax paper. Once you have completed a row, use a fork to drizzle the white chocolate over the top of the balls. (I think it is helpful to do this row-by-row rather than tray-by-tray, because the white chocolate sticks better to the dark chocolate if you get it on there before the dark chocolate hardens).

Pop one tray into the fridge while you dip the other. Once they harden you can store them in an airtight container in the fridge, You can put them in the freezer but they will start to sweat. So I stick with the fridge, or the garage if it's cold outside.
And that is pretty much it.

If you follow my steps and use the small scoop you can get about 6 dozen balls from one batch.
ok one more tiny hint.. spend some time looking for bags to put them in (this is the hardest part for me) because one you start dividing them amongst your friends, you will see that one dozen doesn't look like very much and a half a dozen looks pretty measly, but any more than that and you will be making these on Labor Day. the trick is to find little bags so the bags look full, and it doesn't look so skimpy.

A Vocabulary Lesson

Note: This is a post I started a few weeks ago, and couldn't add pictures. So I abandoned ship.

 
Sorry, I've been gone so long ( I know, I know, what else is new). But this time I really have a good excuse. My left wrist is all out-of-whack and it hurts. Especially to do activities like type. My chiropractor has been working on it and it has been getting better. So I will suffer through for you. Jonathan has been pretty chatty these days and I would say he is about 90% intelligible to me 85% intelligible to Everette and 70-75% intelligible to the rest of the general population. He can master most words if you break them up, and repeat them for him, but he is slow to make these corrections into his everyday vocabulary. So we still have some pretty adorable words.

kabwoon

katatoes

kapleece

alligator

December

I figured it was December and I should probably say something here or hang the whole thing up.
Which I don't want to do, but since I am a mother and this blog is like my second child I have mother guilt due to blog neglect.
Actually, I started a post several weeks ago but stupid blogger wouldn't let me add pictures. So I got cheesed and left in protest.
But as it turns out... someone actually reads this thing, so I shall forge ahead.
November flew by at warp speed. There is much I could say, but I will just give you the highlights.

1. During our trip to NYC we learned that a biopsy Everette's mom had before we left had returned cancerous.
2. We returned home to find out she had breast cancer and the surgeon was recommending a mastectomy.
3. A few days later her surgery was scheduled. and Everette's brother (the one we just visited in NYC) flew back here for a whopping 9 days! (a new record)
4. The surgery revealed that the cancer was no longer confined to the breast.. just barely. And she would require Chemo.
5. In the midst of all this we had some dear friends stay with us. Which was lovely.
6. Spent several days, almost literally passing each other on our way in and out the door.
7. We drove to Alabama for Thanksgiving, with a three-year-old potty-in-training.
8. We got home from Alabama and had a colossal fight.
9. Spent several days barely speaking to each other.
10.Tried to "get in the Christmas Spirit"
11. As a GIANT act of love, Everette bundled up and drove across the county to the tree farm, trudged to the very back of the lot with Jonathan on his shoulders carrying a hacksaw to pick out the very best White Pine Tree. In the beginning of last Sunday's blizzard.
12. Tuesday Everette's mom had her first Chemo treatment.

That brings us to today.


So upon further review this list seems like a total downer. More like "lowlights".

Here are some good things that happened:
Jonathan and I made Christmas cookies!
Jonathan and I have been working on super secret Christmas projects.
I have made12 dozen mocha balls. (sadly those have all been eaten)
Jonathan still after all these weeks, absolutely LOVES to see Christmas lights as we drive.
And... we got to watch Auburn come from behind to thoroughly stomp Alabama the day after Thanksgiving. War Eagle! (this qualifies as one of those things I NEVER thought I would be excited about-never. not in a million years).
Oh... and just one more thing: caramel cake. I am thankful for caramel cake.
Amen.