I promise very soon I will have birthday highlights, video and pictures. Today is just not the day. Apparently I was more exhausted than I thought on Sunday. I excused myself from lunch at my in-laws (which I was falling asleep in the middle of) to go take a "quick" three hour nap on their basement couch. Then I was careless about my caffeine intake and didn't fall asleep until 7 AM this morning (I have email correspondence to prove it). But more than that....
What do you do when someone who is your elder-who you look up to, wounds you seriously.
This is what I am dealing with. I want to be careful, but I have to speak. This person is someone who has kids my age-I have known her for a long time. I have been in ministry together with her, I look up to her as a mentor and sister in Christ. That being said--without going into details, she behaved (in my opinion) like an immature high school queen bee. She intentionally used sneaky tactics to manipulate a certain situation to get her way- and leave me on the outs.
Which has had me thinking all day.
1. Since middle school I have gone to great lengths to surround myself with low drama people. I never had any major roommate drama in college. I had/have good, solid, stable, loving friends. Quite frankly I don't have the stomach for 90210 drama. This instance really knocked me off my feet-it came out of nowhere, and from the least likely person. So what do I do? I'll tell you what I'd like to do. I have an earful swirling around in my head-waiting to get dumped.
2. It is way more hurtful coming from the source it did. If it was someone my age I think I could deal. I think I have continued to live in this generation gap. I am a grown-up yes, but those people my parents age are"more" grown-up than me. Or so I assumed. What do you do when your role model doesn't behave like a role model. Welcome to adult hood... the giant multi-generational cess pool. People stink. and sometimes church people really stink.
God has been reminding me that "all fall short of the glory of God." ALL of us, and all of us ALL the time. I know that in all honesty I have been guilty of far worse, and I cannot stand in judgement. But I would like to think that my juvenile manipulative, high school behavior was over in high school. Where I'd hoped others had left theirs too.
I am sure these wounds will heal and I hope I can forgive. But right now, I am really cheesed, and I little piece of whatever was left of my innocence has sadly fallen away.
On a much brigher note... Bethany, I hope that you read this. I was thinking of you in the grocery store today when I was sad and then I was a little happier ( I don't know if you are aware of this-but as far as I know it is impossible to think of you and be sad!)... Jonathan had his new outfit on today. I looked for yellow puma's at Meijer-no such luck.
However-the icing on the cake, as I was putting the pants on him, I noticed the washing instructions tag simply said "wash whenever this get's dirty"
This is not a joke :)